


the rumination of feelings and emotions

by halocinated



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, Inspired by Real Events, M/M, and in love tbh, just soft boys being soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 14:09:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18606115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halocinated/pseuds/halocinated
Summary: Yuta would know if he wanted to kiss Dongyoung. And he did. (Want to kiss that boy silly, he means.) So... he did. Kiss him. On the cheek, in front of many people... yeah.Yeah, Yuta knew,he's so impulsive sometimes.(Or how Yuta and Dongyoung tried to act as normal as they could while wanting to kiss each other and that moment Yuta did kiss Dongyoung.)





	the rumination of feelings and emotions

**Author's Note:**

> doyu has my heart as always. (still not moving on from that cheek kiss thingy) this is not beta'ed and english is not my first language. do tell me if there's an error or something! oh, this fic is loosely related to catch us not saying i love you(s) (but both can be read as standalones!) hope you enjoy this fic <3 doyunation rise!!

  


Kim Dongyoung made his heart balloons, this is a secret that Yuta will take to his grave.

 

There are many things to describe their dynamic: rivals, Tom and Jerry (even though Doyoung and Taeyong also fits that), the annoying big brother and annoyed little brother, bickering friends, so on, so on. Yuta agreed with most of them. Doyoung and him, if Yuta has to say it himself are close _close_ . Close enough for him to take the younger guy to Osaka for NCT Life filming who consisted of those he considered _friends_ , close enough to let Dongyoung draped his arms around him, pulled him to a hug, to make kissy face to and watch him blush with a frown on his face. There are many things Yuta likes about Dongyoung also: his smooth voice, his concerns and loves for fellow members, how he took care of twenty of them--Yuta included. How Dongyoung always bite his bait and raise to his taunts, making Yuta smile and excited like never before.

 

Dongyoung always made him feel comfortable and Yuta loves that about him.

 

(Despite all the play-fights and real-fights and endless bickering they have, Yuta knows that Dongyoung will always has his back. He does too, for Dongyoung.)

 

But this recent development of wanting to kiss Dongyoung… is new.

 

Yuta didn’t remember when his feelings changed. He _didn’t know_ , even. It’s just like one day he woke up with the realization _oh my god i want to kiss doyoung_ and left it at that. Because… surely… if his feelings truly did change… if he was, indeed, have a crush or something… he’ll realize it himself, right? Yuta is one of the more emotionally in-touch person on the team, he should have realized if he developed a crush or something himself?? But Yuta kept this discovery to himself because he’s not sure how to bring it up to the guys. Or to someone at all. Pouring your heart out regarding jobs and personal worry is something, and feelings overload is something else.

 

So he guarded the little crush close to heart and did his routine as usual. If he acted normally, surely no one would notice if anything changed…

 

_...right?_

 

.

.

 

But everything changed when Dongyoung cornered him at their practice room one day, asking if Yuta liked him.

 

It was out of the blue, like striking thunder, and it left Yuta speechless because he didn’t think this day would come. When he accepted that he was infatuated with Dongyoung, Yuta never thought about something like this: a confrontation, a _confession_. Because he never imagined his feelings are reciprocated… it seemed like a faraway daydream. He knew the drill: he is an idol, feelings and emotions are baggage and not important until their career is established enough. Besides, being fond of a bandmate (he was wording this as delicately as he could) was… not something desirable. So Yuta acted accordingly… at least until then.

 

But Dongyoung did ask that, if Yuta like _like_ him (he avoided using the L-word, Yuta noticed). And when Yuta surrendered, admitting his feelings for the vocalist... imagine his shock the moment Dongyoung answered it with a “And I you, _hyung_.”

 

Dongyoung. Liking him back.

 

What a surprise. What a pleasant surprise.

 

(They didn’t make it official or anything, though. Both Yuta and Dongyoung knew better than to attempt a relationship while still in the middle of promotion, concert preparations, things like that. Being aware of each other’s feelings and fondness were enough for now. They will work on the finer details of… whatever they have right now, later.)

 

.

.

  


That later came in the form of their leg of Japan concerts tour.

 

Dongyoung and Yuta stuck on schedules together often: doing photoshoots, interviews, filming contents for the band’s youtube channel or whatever their manager threw at them. One of the photoshoot took place at a ramen place and Yuta almost mistook it as a date because of the casual setting and atmosphere if not because of Mark’s presence. When they moved to a park to continue the shoot, he felt free enough to stay close to Dongyoung and cuddled up to him, which Dongyoung responded by letting his hyung do whatever he wants. This was risky move they make, because they’re usually not that tangled up with each other, but they took it anyway because it’s just the staffs and Mark.

 

Even when Mark commented, “You guys are so chummy today, what’s up?” Yuta knew he could hide whatever he and Dongyoung had by playing the mischievous _hyung_ again on the younger guy.

 

So Yuta pouted in response, reaching his hands out to make grabby hands at him. “Is little Markie jealous Doyoungie hyung and Yuta hyung didn’t pay attention to you? _Ujuju_ , come here Markie~ Let _hyung_ shower you with love~” which Mark answered with a shriek and a kick on the shin while Dongyoung watched with fond smile on his lips.

 

After that, they had the concerts of course.

 

Which, in Yuta’s opinion, was great because he could disguise his lovestruck actions as fanservice. He didn’t know how he would do it, though, he hadn’t talk about it with Dongyoung… because he wanted it to happen as naturally as it could and. Maybe. As a kind of surprise? (Sue him, the ever romantic.) The rehearsals kinda helped Yuta to map out the possible actions to take in his head, how to do it and when. He discussed the general details with the staffs and members, shooting smiles at Dongyoung who returned it bemusedly. If anyone other than the two of them noticed anything, they didn’t say a thing. Yuta deemed it safe.

 

So, yeah, concerts happened.

 

Dongyoung hugged him during one stage (more like he came barreling and crashed towards Yuta with the intention to hug, making him hit his head on Yuta’s chest) and he patted the younger’s head in response. In another, they play-fight with their balloons and Dongyoung, being the over ambitious boy he is, got caught up in trying to beat him up--which make Johnny concerned when he walked by. On one occasion, when they were on the cart together, Yuta tried to gather his courage and planted a kiss on Dongyoung’s cheek while he was singing.

 

Keyword: _tried_.

 

Because the moment he got close, his heart beat faster and he got nervous and so he curved it last minute to just blowing at Dongyoung’s ear in mischief.

 

(Yuta was disappointed with himself, but he promised he would try again on their next concert.)

 

.

.

 

On the next concert, this is what happened:

 

They were on the cart again, Yuta and Dongyoung, moving around the stage together while the song is playing the background. The fans’ cheers deafen him a bit, but it’s a good kind of noise--it drowned a bit of his nervousness. He didn’t have many lines so Yuta just watched the crowd as they move along and listened to Dongyoung’s singing, feeling his heart warmed again by how beautiful Dongyoung looked under the stage lights.

 

And Nakamoto Yuta is a man of impulse, driven mostly by emotions and feelings, and this moment was proof enough. If yesterday's attempt to kiss Doyoung was a joke, today Yuta would do it for real. In front of the fans, in front of his family--because that's the kind of man Yuta is: heart on sleeve, transparent to his core. So under the blinding spotlights and ocean of grass green the lightsticks waved, on the cart that circled the arena and will take them to the stage again, when Doyoung sang his lines and hit the high note and closed his eyes, Yuta took his chances.  
  
He leaned in,  
  
  
  
and this time his lips touched Doyoung's cheek.  
  
  
  
(When he kissed him, Yuta swore that there's something inside his rib cage that exploded and spread warm fire all over his body.)

 

.

.

 

(Later, after everything ended, Dongyoung pushed him to a supply closet after telling the others that he needed to ask Yuta something and not to wait for them.

 

“Hyung, why did you kiss me?”

 

Yuta had to raise his head to look at Dongyoung properly, finding the younger eyes looking at him with curiosity… and lingering on his lips. _Interesting_. His lips pouted, and Yuta noted the way Dongyoung’s eyes stayed there, feeling smug inside.

 

“Just wanna.” he answered, fluttering his eyelashes a la those anime girls and watched Dongyoung’s adam apple bobbed. “Why, Dons? Did it bother you?” The pout remained. “I’m sorry,” he dragged the y in a whine-like voice. “If you don’t like it I can always ask--”

 

“No, no.” Dongyoung interrupted with a flush on his face. He fidgeted a bit before continuing. “I mean, yeah, you should’ve ask me first before kissing my cheek like that, hyung. Consent is important.” Dongyoung bit his lips. Yuta tilted his head, waiting for Dongyoung to speak more. “And that’s why we’re here.”

 

Yuta’s eyebrows rose. “Why…?”

 

“Yuta-hyung,” Dongyoung’s voice is hoarse. Red marked his face, eyes still on Yuta’s lips. Yuta shivered. “Can I… Can I kiss you? On… on,” He took a breath. “On the lips. If you let me.”

 

Yuta’s smile was wide as he tiptoed before whispering, “Thought you’d never ask, Doie.” and crashed their lips together in a kiss.)

 

 

 

 

 

(The fire spreads again, but this time they stay on the pyre that is Yuta's body and it keep him warm for a long, long time.)

 


End file.
